Not the America I know

I was watching television this morning, but I found myself reading the news off my iPad and paying more attention to that than I was  to watching "Morning Joe." In frustration, I turned off my iPad and television and took my morning shower because I needed a reboot from all the negativity, and the know- it- all. It was 7:00 A.M., and I wondered if the old Guerrera's was still in business.

It didn't take me long to wake up, because as soon as I opened the front door, a swarm of yellow jackets were hovering over my head. That used to be a common occurrence in my youth, but  its been years since I've seen them,so I kept going to my truck ,knowing that I could take care that problem when I got back. It'll be a 3-minute job (2 1/2 minutes looking for the can of Raid wasp spray) to freeze them from 3 feet away.

When I got to the corner of Teakwood and the Houston highway, I was reminded of why we need a traffic light there.

As I was headed to the Mexican restaurant on Ben Wilson, it's as I was seeing Victoria growing before my eyes, I noticed the flurry of construction activity all along the Houston highway. I am amazed that they put so many apartments on that tiny acreage of land. Five head of cattle and two horses couldn't survive on that small plot of land.

I picked this area because this is where we bought our first home and lived there for about 30 years. It didn't take long for the positive vibes to start over taking all the negativity, that I have been absorbing for weeks. I was surprised to read a comment at the VA about the other side of town staying on their side, but some things never change, for some. In the booth next to me ,there were only two of us in the restaurant (not Guerra’s but a new name) so without even trying I overheard a man, which I presumed to be in his sixties, make his order, all the while the while talking on his cell phone in Spanish and English, lining up his lawn cutting jobs for the day. His last call was to Javier, who had overslept, saying that he would be over in 20 minutes, and he had him a taco and then asked him" cream and sugar right?" Can you imagine your boss doing that? As I was leaving, two men and a young teenager, who was still trying to wipe the sleep out of his eyes, were making their way into the restaurant. I was fortunate, that I didn't have to go to work with my step dad because his company would not allow it, so that made me a spoiled adolescent who spent his summer playing baseball until he got home and then the chores began.. The real tortillas, beans and migas took me way back, and I'm feeling a lot better but I'm probably going to need a dose of Houston this weekend to recover fully.

I'm not saying that my era is better than today's because in many ways it's not. I just need to stop now and then to reflect on where I came from, where I've been, and where I'm going. I've got to stop thinking that there's an app, book, or some new theory for that because, as I told a poster last week, "for everything that you read in that book, look to your left, and you will find another book that will contradict everything you just read." I’m pretty sure we didn’t acquire our parenting skills from a book. If you are like us,you made all the mistakes with the first one and tried to improve with the next child but quickly found out that children are as different as night and day. That's the information world we live in. It's no longer Aunt Martha's remedy for colic, dad's wire and masking tape fixes, or as we are now finding out, keeping private information a secret.

I’m sick and tired of people giving their version of the American Dream as if it was a truth certain. The ‘American Dream” can be that man who owns his own grass cutting business, which allows him to spend more time with his family. I’ve always thought it was about opportunity and not about bank accounts and assets. We saw what the most popular version of the “American Dream” got us in 2008.

She Never Ceases to Amaze Me

You would think after 45 years of marriage that the element of surprise wouldn't be a big part of our marriage. It probably wouldn't have been in my way of thinking because I didn't factor in my wife's retirement and how big of a difference it makes. If you count the military, I worked for 40 years but my wife worked for 45 years. She now has free time because the cats and I are low maintenance.

What's that got to do with the element of surprise? My wife has never had time on her hands because when she was working outside the house (I’m not going to make that Hillary Rosen mistake) and she was super busy being the bedrock of our family. She really didn't have time to tinker with appliances or electronic devices that much but I could tell she always had an interest in it. I didn't have the patience to teach her what little I knew. That's the background and now here's the rest of the story.

My wife is very traditional and will always resort to the instruction manual and takes tedious notes before tackling a project she is unfamiliar with. I guess that's why I didn't have much patience in teaching her the basics of computing. I would be at the computer telling her how to apply certain commands and she would stop me in mid-sentence, so she could literally write down every word. I still believe that “hands on” and learning by making mistakes is the best way of teaching.

Yesterday, she surprised me by leaving her traditional world of instructional manuals and relying on her common sense. I had a television sound system installed several years ago but about a year ago, after one of our storms, the system died. I've tried exchanging the power cord and even took it to repair man who told me it would be more expensive to fix it, than to replace it. There you have it, all the answers were laid out for me and I pretty much gave up on it but having those inoperable speakers in the living room bugged the hell out of my wife. We went looking for a new system where I could use the same speakers but the salesman said that my system was out of date, so I heard those magic words again" it's just cheaper and better to buy a whole new system." My wife said she poured herself a cup of coffee and decided to tackle the sound system by using a process of elimination. She tightened all the cables and re-plugged the unit and to her surprise the blue light came on indicating power, this alone supplied her initiative to continue. The RCA cables were color coded so she started plugging them in one at a time. She then called me to do the easy work of using my remote to turn off the TV Sound and test the receiver. I was reluctant because all the answers were already laid out. Anyway, after 45 years I knew I wasn't going to get any rest unless I obliged. On first try, nothing, but she said "just wait a minute," and rearranged some wires, and like magic the sound system was working. You could see that glow of pride come across on her face. Rather than having the friendly argument of how she saved me $300-$600, I quickly decided to take her to dinner rather than tell her I wasn't ever going to buy a new sound system. First that would sound unappreciative and she probably wouldn't believe me anyway...:-)

I think my wife was inspired when Dish Network called and said that they had some work to do on our system and that we were not going to charge us for it. The technician told me that the main office noticed a glitch in our system through a signal from our DVR. He said the newer model DVRs have software that are capable of detecting trouble and transmitting that information to the main office. I don't know if I believe all that but it was free and we were having some minor problems that went away.

We are evolving

I had a lot of time to think between classes and my overnight stay in Corpus Christi. This was the first seminar, that I didn't hear a cell phone to go off, although we've  been told to turn them off for several years. I don't know whether it's normal or not, but I'm getting to the age where I reflect a lot on the past, present and all the changes. I even remember my step dad always having a white handkerchief in his back pocket, but I can't remember ever having one. I could see some good uses for one, such is wiping off my iPad or iPhone screen and my glasses, but I don't even know if they sell them anymore. I remember when I was about 30 years and on to my fiftys, it was common to see men, wear baseball caps or hats, but I stopped wearing one about 15 years ago, but I can't tell you why.

Change can come abruptly, like when my grandson told that it wasn’t cool to wear a cell phone holster. I looked around for days and found out that most men keep them in their pockets. I change when I hear how cruel the opposition sounds or if it will lead to a peaceful resolution. Today,my children say “ Whoa,you have mellowed.” Those changes took years.

I didn't see any changes on my way to Corpus Christi. On any given day, you will see the same oil company pickups getting gas and whatnots in Refugio but not much else, and it's pretty much open road, until you hit Highway 37 into Corpus Christi. This is one time I had to look for a parking space at the Airport Holiday Inn, because even though was 7:00AM, the lot was full. A lot of it was due to Halliburton having their meeting at the hotel. As I checked  in; I saw a sea of red work uniforms. At least, they had their own buffet spread. Across the room, I went to the regular breakfast dining area where I saw a lot of business type people with laptops on their table, or they were talking on their cell phones. I wouldn't have to worry about a power outage because there was enough light coming from the electronic devices. If they turned off the two television sets, no one would have noticed.

This one seminar was different because several of the attendees were using their cell phone throughout the lecture, and one lady was knitting. I was surprised to see the lady knitting. I didn't know women still did that. I had a friend who came up to me and asked me if I had brought the Victoria Advocate. I said no, but I have the digital edition on my iPad. He went away disappointed because he wanted the newspaper. I can understand that, and I wasn't going to lend him my iPad anyway, so I should've just said no.

At the break, we all talked about the judge spanking his daughter. We all told stories of our spankings and how we accepted that,because it was the way it was done back then. We all thought that the judge went way overboard, and his wife was complicit. That is common in an abusive relationship. I guess all of us were in our 50s or 60s, but we realized that what we thought was normal and correct back then, really wasn't. I certainly don't have any proof, but I think that spanking is one of those old child rearing remedies, that is not often used today. As I told the group at the break, I think it's like drunk driving. I remember a lot of us used to tell funny stories of driving while intoxicated Today, I wouldn't even think of driving after drinking( I don't drink anymore, per say) and I certainly wouldn't laugh at drunk-driving stories. The lady, who organized Mothers Against Drunk Driving, did one hell of a job.

About six years ago, the subject of homosexuality and gay marriage was met with a lot of poster deletions because it really stirred up some folks. When those subjects are brought up today, a few will get out a line but most just want to move on without much fanfare. In five years ,it won't be any issue. Remember, when the subject of Muslims was first brought up and especially the mosque at Ground Zero? I bet most of those posters, who adamantly complained, don't know that it was finally opened without resistance. If things go according to plan, we will be out of Afghanistan in the year 2014, and the hating of Muslims will go with it.

The world is changing, in case you haven't noticed we are now 26th in education worldwide, last year we were 25th. We are evolving but will we accept the good change and reject changing just for the sake of change? What do I mean by that? Perhaps instead of using the word repeal, we should try to use the word reform. We didn't get to be number one by accident, so the answer is within, or as Bill Clinton put it “There is nothing wrong with America that cannot be cured by what is right with America.”